How to Coach Your Child to Positive Behavior
Posted: Tuesday, February 15, 2011
by Rachael Mah
Rachael Mah
Trans-derivational searching is a way for you to help your child to find out where a certain belief or behavior is coming from, and then to change that belief or behavior. To use this technique you need to develop a series of questions based on the belief or behavior. Each question will be an opportunity for your child to dig deeper into his mind, and eventually find out why he thinks that way.
You hear from your child’s gym teacher that she is not making much of an effort in gym class. They are doing track and field, and she just simply tries to stay at the back of the line, and when it is her turn to try an activity she just does the minimum to get by, especially with the jumps. You ask her about it: Why aren’t you participating more in gym class?
She answers that she can’t do the jumps, and that most of the other kids are way better at it than her.
You begin a series of questions:
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Was there ever a time when you felt you could do it?
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Have you ever not had the worry in your life of not performing well at something?
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When did this concern show up in your life?
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Was there ever a time you could do something better than others? Did you think less of them because they couldn’t?
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How do you feel when you feel you can’t do something?
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How can you get better at it?
Through this line of questioning she realizes that not everyone is great at everything, and that if she practices more she will get better at it. She may not be the best or even one of the best, but that doesn’t matter as long as she tries.
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